Thursday, September 13, 2012

It's a Wonderment

 My husband is retired. Need I say more? Chris has been retired now for exactly three months and we have done more squabbling in these three months than in the the previous three years! Not fighting just fussing. I'm shocked I tell ya. I thought that the two of us were two of the most compatible people you ever could meet and I still think so. I was sure that this transition to full time togetherness would be a breeze and I do love seeing him during the day. But... we have hit a bump in the road working out when to "help" each other with our various projects and plans and when to leave each other to our own devices. It's been a growth opportunity in a long and loving marriage.

Isn't life a surprise sometimes? I am always amazed at the unexpected challenges that pop up. It's never the stuff I expect but the little things that present me with that let's stop and think about this moment. Over the course of these three months we've managed to figure out a new routine with Wednesday as my 'untouchable' day to spend however I like - quilt guild, sewing, lunch with friends, whatever. I'm not available for projects or problems on Wednesdays. That frees him up too and gives us both a little room. Of course that doesn't mean I won't be doing things without him any other day of the week. Thursday is Sewing for Vets day for instance. It's working for us and the other six days a week I'm more than happy to spend with my best friend.

Is your spouse retired or maybe working from home? How do you make room and come together?

Until next time,

7 comments:

  1. Ted has been retired for several years, but he always had another job, mostly real estate. He took a year off from that and was home a lot, but we mostly did our own thing, taking a day here and there to go for a drive or do something together. He is very busy and involved in other community things also that kept him busy so he wasn't under my feet all of the time. He is back to working at real estate again and is hardly ever home now. Maybe your husband needs a day out with his buddies once in awhile or needs a hobby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Transitions can be trying even ones you have been looking forward to. We seem to be figuring it out with a lot of humor thrown in and I'm so grateful to have the chance to work it out. He's off tonight doing his thing and he's slowly learning to slow down a little in general.

      Delete
  2. My husband has been retired for 6 years. We're pretty much inseperable. We do everything together and it's worked out well for us. We travel a LOT and when we are home, I do gardening and he has a "shop" that he's always puttering in on project. We agreed when he retired that I would only cook TWO meals a day---he fends for himself for supper. If he wants a "lazy" day, I don't say anything, and vice-versa. We take long hikes or bike rides most days, love to go out antiquing. It's been marvelous, really. And he often wonders how he had time to work. I think once you guys decide what you really want to do with your days, you'll be glad he's retired.
    Best of luck to you both.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks for the encouragement Sue. Part of the trouble has been that we like to spend time together but we also need time for our own thing and don't want to hurt each other's feelings. We have had some good talks in the last few weeks and are figuring out what our boundaries are. It's great that there are still things to discover about about the guy I've been married to for 44 years! He's at his Search & Rescue training right now while I answer my emails after my day of Sewing for Vets, We're working it out and I LOVE that he does not have to leave home every day.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wait till he wants every phone call on speaker phone *rolling eyes*...the stories I could tell you...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's too funny Susan lol. We have to laugh,, right?

      Delete

Thanks for your comments. I love hearing what you have to say.